Not Much of a Fighter
by Twilight Scribe
Summary: ."I was a little surprised, I never considered myself a fighter?" Jormand sent a pointed look at the heavy sword that was always by Millie's side. "What in the miasma would make ye write that, lass?"
1. Not Much of a Fighter

Disclaimer: Don't own Crystal Chronicles. Also, since I'm using Dragon Naturally Speaking to dictate for the first time (it is a damn cool thing once you get used to it), beware of wrong words, grammar screw ups, and spelling mistakes. There should be too many though... I did a lot of editing.

* * *

The Tipa caravan lazed around, taking a well-deserved break to celebrate collecting their last drop of myrrh for the year. It wasn't that much different from the normal routine, except that now the customary hour-long relaxation period after collecting myrrh was accompanied by several rounds of strange liquid. Millie took advantage of the down time to pull out her diary and scribble in a brief entry. She didn't notice Jormand reading over shoulder until the Lilty spoke up.

"'I was a little surprised, I never considered myself a fighter'?" He cocked an eyebrow and sent a pointed look at the heavy sword that was always by Millie's side. "What in the miasma would make ye write that, lass?"

"Ah, well... I don't really think of myself as a good fighter. I just don't." Millie felt her opinion needed no explanation. In her eyes, the memory of having to talk her down from an apple tree in Fum after the cows scared her should have been enough proof for Jormand, but the Lilty refused to believe.

In a movement faster than the Clavat eye could follow, he snatched the diary from her hands and started flipping through the pages, reading aloud the entries that proved his case.

"Today we defeated the cave worm Selepation Cave, easy battle, light lunch 'n all that...' I was a little surprised, I never considered myself a fighter.'" Jormand flipped the page. "And here, after we beat the Zombie Dragon in Conall Curach, ye wrote the exact same thing. It's here when we beat the Golem at Veo Lu Sluice, Armstrong in Tida, and three times for the Malboro in the Mushroom forest." He shut the diary held it out for Millie to reclaim. "There's an entry like that on almost every page, lass, and we've been at this for years. If that's not clear enough for ye, I don't know what is."

Millie stared, just a little startled, as she took the book back. "So you're saying I should...?"

There was a loud clank as Jormand smacked his gauntlet to to his helmed forehead.

"Lass, I'm sayin' that ye should best start believing yourself t' be a fighter. Nay, a warrior. Take it from a Lilty, you're a fine one." He shot her a proud yet slightly irritated smile, then tromped off for another tankard of strange liquid.

As Millie watched him go, still a little shocked by the whole encounter, there was only one thought in her mind and that thought was "I... I'm a warrior?... Cool."

* * *

AN: I was looking through my diary the other day and noticed that because I've been training and collecting artifacts the "I never considered myself a fighter" line popped up in pretty much every account of a battle. You think that the characters would stop being surprised after the first few times they wrote that. Honestly...

Kudos to SasukesBlade for introducing (to me at least) the idea that Strange Liquid could be some form of hooch.

By the way, did I mention that Dragon Naturally Speaking is cool? Because it really is.

* * *


	2. EXTRA: 'Til the Cows Come Home

Disclaimer: Don't let cows step on your foot, unless you don't mind losing said foot.

AN: Sheesh, ideas lead to more ideas... Good stuff.

* * *

"Jormand, Jormand! Help!"

"Eh, what's this? A talking tree?" The Lilty chuckled as he peered up into the apple tree, picking out Millie's orange and black tunic among the red fruit. "Ah, there ye are. What seems t' be the problem, lass?"

"What's the-?" Millie snatched an apple off the closest branch and chucked it at Jormand's head as hard as she could. He caught it, skewering the fruit cleanly on his lance, before it could splatter on his helm, but she didn't let that stop her rant. "You know what the problem is, bucket head! It's that- That beast! It won't let me climb down. Every time I try, it attacks me!"

"Hm, well that is a problem now..." Jormand pulled the apple off his spear. Aside from a big slice where it had been impaled, the fruit was fine. He munched it slowly while he mulled over how to get his skittish comrade down past the very friendly cow that was loitering around the base of the tree. How indeed?

The cow was a problem. It had been eyeing Millie ever since they first arrived at the pastures in the Fields of Fum, and when the caravanners finally stepped into the pasture... Jormand couldn't deny that watching the cow chase Millie around was funny. It proved that the racing cows were only slow because they weren't sufficiently motivated. The girl could run like the wind and that cow kept up with her every step of the way around the pasture, right up to the base of the apple tree that Millie was crouching in now. Why? He glanced over at the cow, who had put its front hooves up on the tree's trunk to get up closer to the leaves and its prey. Cows have a good sense of smell. Could it be that...?

"Millie, 'ave ye got any food in that pack o' yours?"

"Yeah, some carrots! Why?" Millie sounded terrified, but then she did have a killer cow sniffing at her shoes. Jormand just grinned. He'd figured it out.

"Lass, bite the blade and give the cow your carrots. That's what it wants from ye, 's hungry!"

Millie wasn't so sure. She'd been throwing apples and all the potatoes she had down at the beast in an attempt to drive it off. If it was hungry, wouldn't it have eaten those? But then again, Jormand knew more about animals than she did, being from a family of ranchers and all... If he thought it would get her down on the ground again, it was worth a shot! Fishing around in her pack, Millie pulled out three small bundles of carrots and dropped them down onto the huge pink nose sniffing just feet below where she was perched. Either it would go for the veggies, or she'd starve to death in a tree. The next few seconds would tell all... She held her breath and squinched her eyes shut, only to feel a snort of hot cow breath on her ankle.

Jormand bit back a snicker as Millie toppled out of the tree with a shriek, bounced off the cow's back, and landed none-too-gracefully in a pile a few feet away from the beast who was now completely absorbed in its meal of roots. She was fine... He held out a gauntleted hand to help her up.

"'Ere lass, up with ye. Ye all right now?"

"Yeah, I guess. Whoo..." Millie straightened her tunic and repositioned the pack on her back. "I wouldn't want to do it again, but I'm okay."

"Well, there are easier ways to get out of a tree, ye know." Jormand teased through one last mouthful of apple. "An' t' was only a cow."

* * *

AN: So here's an odd coincidence, I had steak for dinner tonight. And carrots. It was delicious.

* * *


	3. EXTRA: You're Not Alone

Disclaimer: Disclaim...

AN: And another one!

* * *

"What does it want?" Stirling called out, staring down from the safety of the tree's branches at the menacing beast below. The surprisingly aggressive cow was standing with its front hooves up on the trunk of the tree, staring up at him and sniffing. He knew it was only a cow, but it was also a very large animal and the way it was acting was strange. The sight of that huge mouth just a few feet below him was a little intimidating too. The Yuke sincerely hoped his partner would have some idea about how to get him out of the tree without having to face the fearsome bovine.

"Sorry Stirling, I've got nothing." Rana stood a short distance away from the killer cow, completely unworried since it didn't seem to be paying any attention to her at all. She'd been standing there for some time and, when she wasn't pondering how Stirling looked like some sort of overgrown bird perched up in the branches like that, she had been thinking up a storm of possible plans to distract the cow. Unfortunately none of them had worked yet. The animal wasn't interested in the grapes or cherries Stirling threw down to it, or by the apples he threw at it. Stirling refused to cast any really powerful spells on the creature and it just shrugged off the blows it took from her racket... They couldn't get it to leave and Stirling refused to come down while the cow was still there, so there was only one other option.

"I guess you'll have to learn to love Striped Apples, won't you?"

"Rana!"

"All right, all right. I'll go fin the Rancher and see if he can't do something."

In the tree Stirling sighed and tried to make himself just a little more comfortable as he watched Rana stroll off across the pasture. How could she be so nonchalant when there was psychotic livestock waiting to eat him? But it wasn't so bad. Even if the Rancher couldn't help, the sun would be setting in a couple hours and when it got dark the cow would go to sleep, as cows do, leaving him free to escape. He could wait a little longer.

- X -

Five hours. Stirling shifted in the branches and conjured a tiny ball of fire to keep himself warm. Five hours had passed since the sun set, and the cow was still there...

* * *

AN: About the worst possible time to be out of carrots.


End file.
